Im gonna write this in english, because I've learned that most of my readers aren't swedish. (they read my blog by using the google-translator. Which is very cute btw.)


This is quite personal I guess.


Something really big (for me) happend today. About 20 minutes ago.
Im still in tears and it's not because I'm sad. It's because im angry.


Only a few of you know how I live my everyday life, I know that most of you know that I work pretty much. I always jump in for the other girls at work (Im not talking about a few times here..I work overtime because the others don't arrive in time. It has always been annoying and demotivating ofcourse but I've always been there for them. Always.


I havn't had time to hang with my friends or to enjoy the sun. I was even working on my birthday. (It was supposed to be my day off according to plan, but... yeah..) So yeah, hearing this will probably make most of my friends happy.

 
So these last days I've been very very tired. First of all I told them that i'd be working there this summer if I was working no more than 3 days a week. Guess what - I've been working 5-6 days a week. So yeah, that kind of pisses me off, but it's not that.

These last 3 days has been very demanding. I was working lunch, next day night (17.00-02.30) got home around 02.45 - Couldn't sleep but managed to get 3-4 hours of sleep then I had to go up to work again and work from early to 17.00 but then I had to work til 20.00 because the other girl couldn't be there on time. I don't even have spare time. Like wtf.
It's okay tho, Im not some sort of weakling. I know there are people out there who work their asses off day and night. I shouldn't be upset over things like this. But I am. Those people chose to work their asses off. I don't wanna do that, I have all the money I need for now, I want to do things that matter to me, this job doesn't appeal to me in any way. It's not even good money. This job doesn't give me anything I need. It's not a win-win relationship that I have with my job. It's a win-lose. I don't give a flying fuck about my job. Thats why I did what I did today.

 
I wasn't supposed to work today, but I had to because one of the girls who works there decided to stay in Rhodos for another week, (which is cool by me) - Whats not cool is that I have to work in her place. (as usual).
And that is not that girls fault - it's the bosses fault. My boss takes me for granted. I told her to never take me for granted, yet she does. It's her own fault.

Anyways, we had a fight. Me and my boss. Over a tiny thing. So tiny that it really didn't matter. She made a big thing out of it, and I told her to calm down, but she wouldn't calm down. By that time I got really upset and angry, so there was really no turning back. I wasn't gonna stand there and take shit for something small that wasn't even my fault to begin with. I was just defending myself instead of nodding and saying "mm". I did what I had to do. That moment I lost all my respect for her. I cannot respect someone who doesn't treat me with respect. So I told her what I felt. She couldn't handle it. She said "If you're upset you can go home". I responded, "Damn right I am and you know what? Im not just going home. Im never coming back, and I will never see you again. Ever."

I think she was on the verge of crying. Thats when I turned my back on her - headed for the door and left with a dramatic slam. No regrets except for one.

 
That I only got to say half of the things I feel. Im filled with anger and negative emotions. I was being too nice. If I could do it again I'd say everything. That would have made me feel better.

I feel relief now and Im glad. Finally it's time for me to move on. I never meant for it to end this way, but it did. Im just glad it's all over...

So, gonna clean my room a bit, it's so messy and then David is coming to pick me up, he'll be keeping me company for a bit. Moodlifting ftw :3

 

Ernie

15 juni 2009 20:12

Jag är stolt över dig Maral, och är glad att du nu kan göra det du vill, stödjer dig på alla möjliga sätt, :D

http://Radiorebelde.blogg.se

 

Tobias Olausson

20 juni 2009 01:05

Nice! Ta ingen skit!

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