this is bothering me. I can't sleep because I'm thinking of shit I don't even know what it is and that clearly is something you need to sorta dig into. it's unfamiliar it's weird and it's annoying because I want to get it straight.

gonna write a blogpost about it. Too tired now, work tomorrow gonna put some keywords down so I remember this and hopefully put it together somehow.

plain, grey, likgiltig, __unfamiliar mindset__ ver strange, stuffed yet "empty" but not in a black hurting way in a brainy way, happy, cloud, ill, solid, self-worth/valueinanotherperson,even perfect-not appealing even if it is more appealing than anything else - doesn't bother me - should it? sick for not wanting?
what matters, what doesn't, yellow, smokeycloud, procrastinating,stress tired,sleep..

i think im having/getting a fever

My mum can be extremely childish.
Just now, like 5 seconds ago she told me she was hungry.
I felt rather hungry too so I asked here where she was going.
She replied that she was taking the car to the supermarket.
"Can I come with you?" I asked.
"Sure thing. We're going NOW though, hurry. Put your shoes on"
"Yeah.. I just.. need to pee really quick. Wait for me"
"Yeah.. sure"
*I start walking*
"Hey MARAL.. come here.. In the kitchen.. LOOK"
"What?..."
*goes back to the kitchen*
"Right there.. In the corner.."
"What??"
*goes to the corner*

*Mum runs fast as hell to the toilet*

I mean.. you could have told me you needed to go first.
What the hell.. 

Update: After giving it some thought.. I realised that if she'd say something like that to me.. I would have been the one running. So yeah.. I just got pwnd by my mum.

Spent most of my day in Ale @ driving school.
When I got tired of studying for the theorytest
(that I wont even be taking since it's like burning money,

the test is only valid for 2 months and I'll be away for 6

months in China.. so.. yeah..) I started reading in this
Cesar Millan book I found. I've always been a fan, but 
seriously.. this book is SO GOOD. I just love reading it.
I know this is completely silly but when I see the pictures

of Cesar hanging with the dogs, I get tears in my eyes..

Because... Because they look so happy. :'D..

I just wanna hug the pictures, because they're so full of love.

Yes.. I know.. awkward.

Just pretend you didn't read that. 

Found some really old CD's and now I'm

listening to my old favourite songs.
God.. I remember my Ace of Base tape...

I loooved Ace of Base when I was a kid..

I still remember a nightmare I had when I was a kid

I always remember it when I hear the song "Happy Nation".

I dreamt that I was in a cold, dark dungeon with

grey stonewalls and very limited space to your left and right.
It was like a labyrinth! No sunlight or anything.

While this song "Happy Nation" would be echoing from somewhere.
You could clearly hear it was that certain song..

but it was sorta distorted.... :/ almost psychadelic. haha.

there would sometimes come wrecking balls from the front and

whenever they did you had to duck. If you didn't.. well..

you'd die.. or something.. I wouldn't know..
Because I never failed ducking in time. (pro yo..;)

I hated that dream.

Now I'm listening to Modern Talking.. haha.. brings back 

wonderful memories. I remember that Chantal (Childhood BFF)

had their album.. and we used to listen to it quite a lot..
I wanted the CD too, but I wasn't allowed to wish for it

because it was Chantal's "band".. hahaha <3. 

Somehow that made sense to me and I never wished for it.

Kids say the funniest things.

Modern Talking also reminds me of my uncle in Iran.
Whenever he hears Modern Talking while driving, he gets

totally pumped and drives like a total maniac. Okay.. 

maniac is not the word because they all drive like maniacs.
Well.. Anyhow.. it's insane. Haha.