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Av Maral - 18 december 2009 00:34

this is bothering me. I can't sleep because I'm thinking of shit I don't even know what it is and that clearly is something you need to sorta dig into. it's unfamiliar it's weird and it's annoying because I want to get it straight.

gonna write a blogpost about it. Too tired now, work tomorrow gonna put some keywords down so I remember this and hopefully put it together somehow.

plain, grey, likgiltig, __unfamiliar mindset__ ver strange, stuffed yet "empty" but not in a black hurting way in a brainy way, happy, cloud, ill, solid, self-worth/valueinanotherperson,even perfect-not appealing even if it is more appealing than anything else - doesn't bother me - should it? sick for not wanting?
what matters, what doesn't, yellow, smokeycloud, procrastinating,stress tired,sleep..

i think im having/getting a fever

Av Maral - 12 december 2009 20:04

My mum can be extremely childish.
Just now, like 5 seconds ago she told me she was hungry.
I felt rather hungry too so I asked here where she was going.
She replied that she was taking the car to the supermarket.
"Can I come with you?" I asked.
"Sure thing. We're going NOW though, hurry. Put your shoes on"
"Yeah.. I just.. need to pee really quick. Wait for me"
"Yeah.. sure"
*I start walking*
"Hey MARAL.. come here.. In the kitchen.. LOOK"
*goes back to the kitchen*
"Right there.. In the corner.."
*goes to the corner*

*Mum runs fast as hell to the toilet*

I mean.. you could have told me you needed to go first.
What the hell.. 

Update: After giving it some thought.. I realised that if she'd say something like that to me.. I would have been the one running. So yeah.. I just got pwnd by my mum.

Av Maral - 8 december 2009 23:28

Spent most of my day in Ale @ driving school.
When I got tired of studying for the theorytest
(that I wont even be taking since it's like burning money,

the test is only valid for 2 months and I'll be away for 6

months in China.. so.. yeah..) I started reading in this
Cesar Millan book I found. I've always been a fan, but 
seriously.. this book is SO GOOD. I just love reading it.
I know this is completely silly but when I see the pictures

of Cesar hanging with the dogs, I get tears in my eyes..

Because... Because they look so happy. :'D..

I just wanna hug the pictures, because they're so full of love.

Yes.. I know.. awkward.

Just pretend you didn't read that. 

Found some really old CD's and now I'm

listening to my old favourite songs.
God.. I remember my Ace of Base tape...

I loooved Ace of Base when I was a kid..

I still remember a nightmare I had when I was a kid

I always remember it when I hear the song "Happy Nation".

I dreamt that I was in a cold, dark dungeon with

grey stonewalls and very limited space to your left and right.
It was like a labyrinth! No sunlight or anything.

While this song "Happy Nation" would be echoing from somewhere.
You could clearly hear it was that certain song..

but it was sorta distorted.... :/ almost psychadelic. haha.

there would sometimes come wrecking balls from the front and

whenever they did you had to duck. If you didn't.. well..

you'd die.. or something.. I wouldn't know..
Because I never failed ducking in time. (pro yo..;)

I hated that dream.

Now I'm listening to Modern Talking.. haha.. brings back 

wonderful memories. I remember that Chantal (Childhood BFF)

had their album.. and we used to listen to it quite a lot..
I wanted the CD too, but I wasn't allowed to wish for it

because it was Chantal's "band".. hahaha <3. 

Somehow that made sense to me and I never wished for it.

Kids say the funniest things.

Modern Talking also reminds me of my uncle in Iran.
Whenever he hears Modern Talking while driving, he gets

totally pumped and drives like a total maniac. Okay.. 

maniac is not the word because they all drive like maniacs.
Well.. Anyhow.. it's insane. Haha.

Av Maral - 18 november 2009 21:27

Dude, talk about pushing the wrong buttons.. not cool... NOT COOL! 

Av Maral - 18 november 2009 00:13

Av Maral - 7 november 2009 20:45

So this is quite funny to me.

The other day when I got home from work I saw something on

the kitchen table. An envelope with my name handwritten on it.

I got ridiculously excited and started jumping up and down.
I didn't even know who posted it, haha. I was just happy because
I've never had something posted to me (other than postcards from
distant lands and postcards from Gotland with sheeps on them -

and these are too very exciting ofcourse!) But never before...
had I gotten a real envelope, just for me. (okay bills... but they
don't count.. You don't even get happy when you see them.. so..)

Anyways. I opened it up, had nooo clue who sent it..

The first thing I see is this...


At the first glance I didn't even know what IT was, but I got soo happy that I started
stomping my feet simultaneously  and waving my arms around. It was pretty freaky.

It also had a very nice text on the backside, and it made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Saga, who sent this - lives.. like a 10 minute walk away from here so the fact

that she posted something for me is just extremely fun.

I never expected such a thing.

She's adorable :D <3 It totally made my day.
I should probably force her to come with me to the policestation on monday! 
Then after that we'll be eating chips and playing Ps3. I love how I make plans

without even asking her if she's available. Fuck.. now when I said that..
she wont be because I cursed the situation by saying it.. but NOW on the other
hand when I said that I cursed it, she will be able to hang with me..

but NOW when I said that again she wont be able too.. ARGH.. this is a bad circle..

(I'll stop here.. You guys probably know why. If not.

You get a cookie for being stupid!) 

Av Maral - 4 november 2009 20:59

Memories, oh.. how I treasure them.

I have many memories that magically puts

a smile on my face whenever I think about them. 

It's such a wonderful thing and I hope that everyone has
atleast one memory that makes them smile.

Thought I'd share one of mine with you all.
It probably doesn't make sense or seem funny to you.
But whenever I think back on this particular moment
I feel warmth throughout my whole body and I can't help
but smiling. It's a wonderful feeling.

So when I was a little girl one of my favourite videogames
in the whole wide world were the GTA series.
At that point in my life my bigger sister lived at home

and she had a boyfriend. His name was Nicholas.

He lived with us and he had a Playstation 2.

He was like a big brother to me. I loved him very much.
He would always let me play on it and when he bought
GTA 3, I was in ecstasy. I played on the ps2 so often
that one would think it was my own. 

When I was 12 years old GTA Vice City was released.
Nicholas bought it as soon as it came out and once

again I was hooked. Since Nicholas wanted to play it too

we sort of had a deal that I was allowed to play during
the day and he played during evenings/nights.

During morning/daytime my sister and Nicholas were usually
sleeping, I thought they were lazy but growing up I've
ended up exactly the same haha. I just don't wake up at
7 in the morning automatically anymore. You know how it is.
Anyways, so I'd get up.. very early.. turn the ps2 on.. and play.

When I had played the game for a few weeks I knew exactly
what my favourite songs were and on what radiostations they

played them. So whenever I got into a car in the game I'd 
drive and look to see if my favourite songs were playing that

partricular moment. I remember loving the Michael Jackson

songs ofcourse and the Lionel Richie song "Running with the night".

But... the best song.. the one I'd actually drive around

extra in, just too hear the full song and that I'd stand up

dancing and singing too (with the controller in hand)

was this song.... (press play :p) 

Every morning.. Every single morning. I'd sing and dance to

this song. And every single morning my sister (who absolutely

HATE when people wake her up even if it's urgent/important.)

would open the door to her room, scream as loud as she could.

Scream random words about how stupid and disrespectful I was

for doing what I did so early in the mornings when people were

sleeping. Scream that I had to turn the volume down.. 

I was always scared of her.. (oh please.. everyone was..)

My sister is honestly the devil in disguise. (Allthough.. she

has sort of lost her devil-touch the last few years.. I think

it's because she's getting old.. I don't know. Haha! But it's

still there somewhere deep inside, I bet. Hehehe.)

Anyways, I never did the singing and stuff to annoy her.

It was just.. I couldn't help it.. the music was so catchy 

and made me feel so happy that I couldn't help but doing it

everytime the song came on. I mean I was 12 for crying out

loud. I never thought about the consequences. I forgot about

them so easily and when the song came on.. It just didn't

occur to me what would happen in just a few minutes.. haha.

Even though it should have been very clear to me since I got

the same reaction out of her everyday, 3-4 weeks in a row.

One day though... One day was different.
I don't know if she (or Nicholas for that matter) remembers this..

but one day I got up.. I turned on the ps2.. started playing..

Played as usual until the song came on the radio..

I turned the volume up.. kept on driving.. started singing..
(and when I was singing, I'd sing LOUD as HELL. Haha)

The best part was that I never ever knew what the hell they

were singing, so I just made up my own words.. It was...Hilarious!

and my mum would look at me with a very  concerned look on her face.

stood in the middle of the livingroom with the controller in 

my hand.. swung my hips very calmly from left to right.

Enjoyed the music and the game to the fullest...

when all of a sudden..

My sister and Nicholas JUMPS out of their room singing/screaming.

Imitating me. 

I got so freaking scared I sat down on the floor the moment they
jumped out with eyes like this "O.O". At that moment.. I was so

shocked and I even got grumpy because they "robbed" me of my song.
And now I had to wait like 30 minutes for the song to come back on.

That memory makes me smile.

It's funny to get imitated on stuff you don't pay attention too.
It's almost like I was doing the dancing and singing subconciously.

If it would have been a scene in a manga, my character would have blushed.

It's hard to explain, but it was all so full of love.

It's nothing special, but it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Most important - it puts a smile on my face.

So yeah.. Thanks I guess..

For scaring the shit out of me that early morning in 2002.


19 years old and very happy with life in general.


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